(As submitted to Dr Good.com with expletives x'd out.)

Smoking is for stupid people.

I've always had issues with people who smoke. I just can't seem to understand why people smoke tobacco. I mean, if you want to ruin your health, at least do something which does something like marijuana or alcohol.

Have a look at the following pictures.

I just don't see the point. I don't know a single person who thoroughly enjoyed themselves the first time they tried smoking. Usually ends with hacking, coughing, choking and an overall horrible experience. A day later, they are at it again till they get addicted.

It's something like getting hit by a car and going back for seconds. WHY?

Then you have the higher-tier idiots (The ones where you can't even laugh at because you start pitying their insanity) who claim they started smoking because of stress. I'm still baffled at how humans, species that are meant to be "intelligent", manage to come up with such ridiculous statements like these. Still don't understand? Alright.

Think about it. It is impossible for someone to start smoking because of stress. I assure you that no one has ever thought "I need a cigarette" before they tried smoking, because your body doesn't even know how smoking feels like in the first damn place! THUS, how can you xxxxxxx start smoking because you're stressed?!?

Great, now I'm stressed. Hand me a cigarette. No, not to smoke it. More like, so I can ram it down the next person's throat who says that.

So now you have a drug, that xxxxx up your lungs, ....oh wait...I haven't showed you the pictures.

BEFORE

AFTER

Back to topic. Yes, so smoking

  1. Doesn't get you stoned.

  2. Burns a hole in your pocket.

  3. Ruins your health.

  4. Is incredibly addictive.

  5. Doesn't make you any smarter.

  6. Lowers your sex drive (That's right kids! PROVEN FACT. Click here for my source)
  7. Causes males to have a generally softer penis (That's right kids! PROVEN FACT. Click here)*
  8. Doesn't help you look more attractive
  9. Doesn't help you look any cooler
  10. Makes your breath stink
  11. Makes your fingers yellow
  12. Makes your sperm taste and smell funny, so don't wonder why she wont blow you. (Source here)

I give up. There are too many damn reasons to list, though I'm sure having a soft penis should scare men enough to quit smoking. (Soft dick?!?!! No one told me about that! Say it isn't so!)

YEA FOOL. YOU HAVE A SOFT DICK. NO, YOU AREN'T ANY DIFFERENT TO ANYONE ELSE. ALL male-smokers HAVE softer penises. So yes, that non-smoking guy who is banging your girlfriend is MUCH better in bed than you are. Limpy

If there's anything I hate more than smokers, it would be social smokers. What the HELL is a SOCIAL SMOKER? Smoking because it's sociable? Do you realize how stupid that really sounds?

"Do you smoke?"
"Occasionally, I'm a social smoker"

Social smoker. Let me get this straight. You're too xxxxxxx insecure to be able to stand with smokers because you're the odd one out, so you start smoking just to blend in?
Fan-xxxxxxx-tastic. This way it will become a collection of dumbshits, standing together pretending to be cool. When all dumbshits can ever become no matter how hard they try, are dumbshits. Smoking.

That is how I came to the conclusion that these people who smoke really ARE stupid. Argue all you want, the the only thing you will get from smoking is an addiction. Yes, I have tried it but I hacked, coughed and choked. Never did it again, because unlike you limpy and dumbshit.

I have a brain.

**Nicknames. Female smokers = Stupid, Male smokers = Limpy, Social Smokers = Dumbshits